Upon Thy Hardwood Flooring, Melbourne, Monday, 11. September 2056

This is a can't-miss social gathering (also known as a "jam" in popular culture). Critics praise it as being one of the must-go social events of this year. Don't miss thy chance!

All people attending need to engage in self hygiene, no wardrobe malfunctions (undergarments cannot be seen)

Gentleman need to wear suits (vests are not acceptable)

Women need to wear renaissance dresses, nothing else.
Thy three finger rule for dresses applies, if any objections refer to thy Earnscliffe dress code.

For thy gentleman, thy fare will be 10 euros and for thy ladies, thy fare will be 5 euros before 4:20 and 10 euros anytime after.

No firearms or any source of weaponry to be seen on thy premises.

Please park your horse carriages to thy right of the building or it will be towed.

"Whining" or "Daggering" or whatever you may call it is prohibited and may not happen. Dance exquisitely or suffer the consequences.

At approximately 5:10 PM, the entire party will gather for a Shakespeare table reading of A Midsummer Night's Dream or Othello (will be put to a vote).

Music will include the following:
- Beethoven's 5th Symphony with 23 seconds of never heard before music
- Bach Medley
- Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart's Greatest Hits
- And many more!

But do not think we forgot about sustenance. Refreshments will include the following:
- Red & White Wine
- Tea
- Jam & Bread
- BUN & CHEESE DOE AHLIE? Just kidding, all varieties of buns and cheese are prohibited.
- Crumpets
- Bagels with a slight addition of butter
- Punch will be served later on in the evening
- Much more food will be available, but you'll have to attend to find out what

ANY RULES BROKEN WILL RESULT IN SERIOUS CONSEQUENCES

A MAXIMUM OF 200 PEOPLE ARE MAY ATTEND AS WE DO NOT WANT TO EXCEED THY FIRE HAZARD.

Hosted by yours truly: Taha Shahid, Shivam Sachdeva, Petar Kljujic and Boris Kljujic

Monday, 11. September 2056, Melbourne, Upon Thy Hardwood Flooring

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